8:13 in the morning. I have been waiting for almost 45 minutes now for the procedure to begin. The last few months I have been coming to the hospital way more than I would like to remember. However, I am so grateful for health, for becoming better, for life, for the love of Jesus. I have so many things to be grateful for. And even though I am thankful and I know in my heart that God has been so faithful in His promises for me and He has been guiding me every step of the way, hugging me when times were tough, while knowing that He has a bright future meticulously planned for me, I cannot stop and not notice the feelings that are invading my soul and my mind. I am more at peace than I was some time ago, when I had to undergo another procedure, but I keep finding myself being anxious in the face of uncertainty. I know that He is right here with me and I should completely be at peace, but I still have those feelings of restlessness. How should I deal with them? “Fear not, for I am with you!”, says Jesus. Yet, I still struggle with worry and fear.
As I am fighting these feelings, I see my doctor coming my way, with a bright smile and glowing eyes, greeting me “Good morning! You look so much better than the last time I saw you!”
With my heart pounding with joy, while being so thankful that he noticed (I’ve known myself that I am becoming better – that my body, along with my heart and mind, are healing all together – but when your doctor notices the progress and reassures you, the joy is even more evidently), I reply “Good morning! Thank you so much for noticing! It’s so good to see you!”
I still wait for the procedure to begin, yet my feelings are not taking control of me anymore. In the presence of the doctor, I am at peace.
I think this story is the perfect example of the relationship that we have with Jesus. During our day to day battles, we often feel like we lose control, that we can’t do it anymore or we don’t know what the next step is. Anxiously waiting for our Doctor to arrive, we can’t stop but wondering what’s going to happen with us. Will we be ok? But if we trust on our Doctor to appear, we will find that once He comes our hearts will be prepared to meet Him and be at peace with Him, dwelling in His presence while He is greeting us with the brightest, most gorgeous smile on the face. But what if we wouldn’t have had prepared before? What if we didn’t learn to wait for His presence? Would we be at peace when He comes or would we still fight our battles alone? If we are waiting patiently for His arrival, once He comes, we will find ourselves at peace in His presence.
It’s very hard to trust in seasons of waiting, unknown and uncertainty, but those seasons shape us in becoming friends with Jesus, because there cannot be a friendship without trust. And without hardships, no trust is build. But the deeper the trust, the deeper the love and the more abounding joy we will have in our lives, that will eventually become an everlasting joy.
So let us choose to trust Him and wait for Him, while preparing to meet Him! And one day we will be surprised by the overwhelming peace that our Doctor and Bestfriend blesses us with. ️